Retrospect
by Acey Dearest
Summary: Alone in the years after the end of the Buu saga, Juunanagou reflects on his life and asks himself whether it was he or his sister that changed. Complete and embarrassing.
1. Chapter One

"Retrospect"  
  
by Acey  
  
Disclaimer: If I owned DBZ, Cell would've died long before reaching his perfect form. Needless to say, I do not own DBZ, Coca-Cola, or Hershey's.  
  
Author's Note: Juunana-gou is Seventeen in Japanese. Similarly, Juuhachi- gou is Eighteen. The word jinzouningen means "artificial human," and the Tenkaichi Budokai is the World Martial Arts Tournament. I did not make any of that up. It is all Japanese.  
  
Thwack.  
Thwack.  
Juunana-gou set down his ax and admired his work. Two chops, and he hadn't even gotten halfway through the black walnut tree. Yes, by Hector, he had a right to be proud of himself; he who could have felled fifteen of those massive things with a single backhand, had he wanted to. He smiled suddenly, his face creasing into its familiar mocking smirk. Oh, that smirk had gotten him into more trouble one day ten years ago than most people received in a lifetime. But then, Juunana-gou had never claimed to be most people.  
He was reverse training, an idiotic term for an idiotic thing to do, as Vegeta would likely put it. Juunana-gou didn't care. He hadn't seen the Saiyajin prince in so long that; had it not been for his famous jinzouningen's perfect memory; he would have forgotten all about him. No, he thought, easily suppressing a laugh, no one in their right mind could ever forget Vegeta; having met him. Vegeta was all royalty. He defined the Napoleon complex, the poor little man. Had Juunana-gou any human emotions left, he would have almost pitied the prince without a people. Almost.  
This reverse training was his newest diversion. He'd had several since the Cell Games: building and furnishing his cabin, managing to keep it using only poker-playing skills (how he knew how to play cards was completely beyond him, but somehow he wound up with the winning hand and all the chips every time). Now it was just as simple, in fact, more so. His new distraction, to cut down the entirety of his overgrown piece of forest using minimal, human (he figured-- hard to tell when the only humans he had known at all happened to be capable of flight, ki blasts-- weak ones, of course, but still ki blasts-- ) strength. It was a bit more challenging than the other two projects. In poker, all you needed was an ever-clear head and a lot of luck. Juunana-gou had both. You didn't have to be an interior decorator type to furnish a house, either; he'd found, as long as you weren't picky and had half a grain of common sense. The reverse training gave him something to keep his mind on-- 'human strength, you idiot, human strength. I kind of doubt the woodsmen over here being able to half-fell a tree like this with two hits-- there you go. Like that. No--'  
"Stupid," he muttered, more to himself than to the giant tree a foot away from him. He'd overestimated the tree's roots to the ground, struck at it too hard. It was infuriating. After all this time, the whole miserable decade, he still couldn't even control his own power. "Stupid."  
Juunana-gou tossed his ax aside and left the forest area-- or what was left of it, anyway, after the jinzouningen had declared it his home. Methodically he retraced his steps, taken a full two hours before, to his three-room cabin, a place which was a bit less isolated, at least until the hunting season came around, and it always seemed to come around too soon for Juunana-gou's preferences. He didn't mind the gunshots; it was the hunters themselves that bothered him, coming in with their brash attitudes and I-own-this-spot mentalities. He hadn't showed up in front of them (though he'd very dearly like to) while they were waiting patiently for their own prey yet, but there were times that if he hadn't been trying unsuccessfully to beat Gero's programming; there would not have been a prayer to be said that could save those grizzled, hardened hunters.  
He opened the makeshift door into what passed for a kitchen, searching, mildly depressed, for a shred of food from the last time he'd been to the nearby town. He didn't need to eat, really; he just enjoyed it on occasion and kept it should he want it, like a human with a favorite champagne. Right now all that was left from his grocery spree three months before that wasn't rancid were an unopened pack of Coca-Cola cans and a few bars of Hershey's chocolate. He poured America's favorite soft drink into a glass and unwrapped the chocolate bar, deciding that if the humans really had done anything halfway useful in their existence, that it was for the discovery of how to make chocolate, that and nothing else.  
A few moments later, he came to the realization that he had come to the last piece of his candy, and only three of what had once been a six- pack of Coke cans remained. 'Great, worst has really come to worst. I'm eating like a Saiyajin here.'  
It was the perfect irony, unconsciously imitating the race he'd have destroyed had a purple-haired time traveler not gotten in the way. If destiny ruled life, irony ruled destiny. Grumbling, he attributed it to having too much of a good thing lying around. He'd have to cut down; otherwise the poker money would run out and he'd have to count on his luck again for more. 'Goku, I'm blaming you for this one.'  
Surprised he still knew the name, Juunana-gou threw the soft drink cans and foil Hershey's wrappers away and turned his thoughts over to the Doctor's old nemesis. It must've been some grudge for the withered old man to waste so many androids on killing that one person, only one of which ever even accomplished the mission. Juunana-gou couldn't see the point of disliking Goku any; it seemed from what he'd heard that it was hard to stay mad at him. He figured that destroying an entire army single-handedly at the age of twelve gave you a few enemies. But Goku-- Hector, even he, Juunana-gou, could see that the man didn't wish harm on anyone. He was like a grown-up kid, for crying out loud, naive, good-natured, gullible. Juuhachi-gou had mentioned him once or twice in her infrequent visits to her brother's house, how he and everyone else around that could actually pose a threat at the Tenkaichi Budokai a few years ago had all run off to go chasing some monster, expecting her to win the tournament for them.  
"You did win, didn't you, Sister?"  
"Well, actually..."  
"Don't tell me that Mr. Satan wannabe martial artist defeated Gero's perfect android," he said, trying to get her to laugh.  
If possible, Juuhachi-gou had paled further than she already was.  
"Oh, come on, Juuhachi! Even if you have been slacking off, there's still no way for--"  
"He overpowered me."  
Juunana-gou had rolled his eyes.  
"I know you better than that. You threw the match, didn't you?"  
"We needed the money. The rent's been stacking up, and the--"  
"Juuhachi-gou! You shouldn't have. You'd have been the only female winner the Budokai's ever had."  
"It was for a good cause. Hercule got his reputation saved with a capital s."  
Juunana-gou idly wondered now whether his sister cared anymore about her own rep. He seriously doubted it. After she'd married Krillin and had Marron, her visits had become short, abbreviated, which had once been most unlike her. She'd once spent hours discussing the existence of ghosts with her brother. Now he was lucky if he got three semi-lengthy paragraphs out of his twin before she decided she had to leave. They'd gotten distant over the years, too distant.  
He sat on his roughly-made couch and wondered if he'd been the one to change, if he'd done or said something that repelled her. Mentally he replayed every conversation they'd had since the Cell Games, an easy enough trick for the cyborg, playing them at a faster speed so it'd still be daytime when he finished. He found nothing, nothing at all in his behavior to his sister that could have turned her away. It had to have been her that had become different. He'd remained the same throughout.  
  
Author's note: More will be on the way. I hope you liked it so far, and I hope you review if you did like it. (Or if you didn't, okay.) It's only fair to review mine if I reviewed yours. Remember that. Oh, yeah, and the thoughts are in ', just so you know. 


	2. Chapter Two

"Retrospect" by Acey  
  
Disclaimer: I still don't own DBZ, nor will I probably ever own DBZ. Author's Note: Thanks for all the reviews. I looked at chapter one again and realized I had made one of those errors that I don't ever catch before it's too late, namely putting in too much detail. I apologize for that. I decided to stop the hyphenations. It just took too long. (Plus, I'm not entirely sure if they're even correct-- if they aren't, I'll just claim poetic-- I mean, literary license.)   
  
Juuhachigou visited later that evening, wearing a trim businesswoman's outfit and a dutiful look on her face. It was time for her infrequent trip to Juunanagou's cabin, and he supposed the other cyborg felt it was like visiting a delinquent at the boot camp, she seemed to show so little interest in it, at least, from Juunanagou's perspective.  
"How's life, Juunana?" she asked. Her voice was as monotonous as ever, azure eyes, replicas of his own, still striking on the pale face, but Juunanagou could see the difference in them now, not like his, not calculating or cold. It had taken him years to register the subtle change a happy marriage and family had brought to his twin's features.  
"How you expect it to be when you live in the middle of the woods," he responded, privately wondering if his sister had always thought of him as a cross to bear with sarcasm. "Very boring."  
"Well, you don't have to live here. There's no rule against moving," she said absently.  
He grinned. For once, she was varying the conversation.  
"No, but the rural area is making me an idealist," he said, straight-faced, "and to repay it, I'm staying to admire the scenic wonder and majesty."  
Juuhachigou laughed, a bitter sound that did not go well with the image she had forged of herself over the past decade but seemed to strangely fit, anyway.  
"I imagine. Marron just got out of first grade. She's going to be a good student. She won the award for best reader over at Orange Star Elementary School."  
He nodded, not really caring if his niece won the Nobel Peace Prize.  
"She's very smart. She was reading before preschool."  
"Hm."  
"What about you, Juunana? Still chopping down trees?"  
"Of course."  
She shook her head, thinking, 'little brothers,' but Juunanagou didn't see the affection behind the outward annoyance.  
"You really should be done by now. If you didn't make such a game out of it, you'd have been done ten years ago."   
"I've made progress."  
He hadn't been able to get through some of his land for the myriad pines and maples, and he knew it. Worse, Juuhachigou knew it, or seemed to, by the way her eyes flashed after he said it.   
"Uh huh. A tree a day would give you three thousand six hundred fifty trees, but I've had to fly to get here for them for five years. You need to clear out the underbrush at least, unless that's part of the game, too."  
Juunanagou failed to realize his twin was joking.  
"The underbrush shouldn't bother you at all since you fly here."  
"I was kidding." She glanced at her watch, a meaningless item for someone with an internal clock. "I-I've got to go. Bulma's hosting a picnic over at the Capsule Corp., and I promised to come."  
He didn't bother to ask for her to stay. It was pointless now. Every connection they'd had was gone. The twinship was broken, and for the first time in his life Juunanagou realized it on a conscious level.   
Juunanagou glanced at the female cyborg that was his sister, scanning her face into his mind like he did everything else he'd seen since activation. The look on her face told him that she had known they were growing apart for years, told him she knew and, adaptable person that she was, had made adjustments. He'd never understand how painful they were, or how she'd tried so hard to prevent the separation. He only knew that a former monk and a blonde child with pigtails had taken the only person he'd ever given a care about in his miserable existence, and like every other time, the so-called amazingly efficient cyborg had realized it too late.  
"Good-bye, Juuhachigou," he said as she turned to leave.  
"Good-bye."  
He stared once more at the image of a blonde woman in the sky, stared as if it was the last and most painful thing he'd see in his life, and then the mask went back on and he went back to his cabin.  
  
Author's note: In case you were wondering, there is an alternate "missing" scene to chapter one that serves no importance to the plot, but is perhaps enjoyable. If you would like me to send you the scene, please go to my bio and email me with the request. Thanks, and chapter three will come shortly.  
  
-Acey 


	3. Chapter Three

"Retrospect" by Acey  
  
Yes, here's the final part of the fic, thanks again to the reviewers. Disclaimer: Acey really wishes she could own DBZ, but to put the anime and manga into her none-too-capable hands would be catastrophic to the industry, due to her lack of excellent people skills ("Hahaha! Yep, now that I'm the owner of DBZ, Juunanagou's going to be the main character!"), tact ("Well, I'm sorry that you don't own any of DBZ anymore, Funimation. To make it up to you, I'll put the subbed version that everyone likes better up instead of yours."), and artistry ("See that stick figure over there? That's Juunanagou. See the other one over there? That's Juuhachigou. You won't be able to tell which is which until I color them in." "Acey, we can't tell any of these characters apart until you color them in." "Did I ask for your opinion?" "No, Acey..." "Exactly. Now get me my markers."). Yeah. Therefore, she is fairly content to stay at home and write the fanfics, all with the disclaimer that she does not own DBZ. [If that wasn't good enough, then let me make it plain and simple: I don't own DBZ.]  
  
Darkness Angel: You were the very first person I ever reviewed for (no matter how long it seems like, I have only been reviewing since late May), and the first person I ever received a review for. Thanks. I'm glad you enjoyed it.  
  
Android 21 3/7: I'm glad I put in the failure to realize the joke part. I tried very hard to show how far they'd grown apart without just saying it straight out. Thanks for seeing that (I was afraid I hadn't shown it enough)!  
  
Zeitgeist : If I minded about logging in, I would've not accepted anonymous reviews. Being an anonymous reviewer myself for awhile, I decided that I wouldn't do that to anybody the minute I registered on fanfiction.net. And I didn't. You got it! Hector of Troy. I was wondering if anyone would catch that. Doesn't Zeitgeist mean "spirit of the times" or something? Yes, this is going to be a "day in the life" type thing. My skills with action fics are, if possible, worse than my skills with romance fics, so I stick to angst, mysteries, and horror ninety-nine percent of the time. Sub or dub? Well, I'm really a dubbie, to be honest. I use a few of the sub names (Bura, Mr. Satan), but the sad fact of the matter is that if I tried to do all the subbed names, in four minutes I'd accidentally get right back to typing "Vegeta" for "Vejita," "Krillin" for "Kuririn," "Krillen," etc. So I'm sticking to dubs, mostly. Too many pop references? You're probably right. *cringes*  
  
Evil Juuchan: You're right, the androids were always horrifically underused, both in the show and in the fanfiction (as you can see, I'm trying my best to change that).  
  
Moonraker One: Thanks so much for that feedback. It means a lot to me to know someone liked what I wrote. My own reaction to your review was the same: WOW.  
  
And now, the much-rewritten final chapter to "Retrospect." I hope you enjoy it.  
  
He smashed the first thing he saw when he came through the door, only to find that it was a mirror, and he had shattered it. Why he even bothered having a mirror when he would look the same for an eternity he didn't know. At any rate, the fragments of glass seemed to snicker up at him with their identical images of the black-haired cyborg, saying, 'See, Juunana? We're all you've got now. Just your reflection. Are you happy? Are you feeling better now, without your twin? Are you? Are you?'  
Juunanagou angrily picked up a piece without caution, letting the edges cut the palms of his hands, not caring that there was less blood in him than what was in an I. V. unit, indifferent to the fact that he couldn't sense the pain from what he was so carelessly trying to do, pick up the fragment.  
He blasted what was left of the mirror's frame, and crushed the piece of glass in his hand silently between his fingers, leaving the rest on the floor of his cabin. Then he walked out, catlike grace gone from his lithe, youthful body, replaced by the slow, determined walk of someone who has no idea where he's going and doesn't give a flip about it.   
So all he'd had was gone. He had never had much to begin with, just a twin sister who loved to shop and a brother around ten feet tall (or so it seemed, at least, looking up at him). And himself, he'd always had himself. Juunanagou needed no advice from bits of glass to know that much. The trademark smirk, the bandana, the oddly-shaped eyes fashioned by a madman-- yes, that was him. That was him, and that would stay him no matter what he did to make amends. He was no Juuhachigou.  
He kicked the tree felled by his ax hours before, kicked at it like junior-high kids with a piece of paper on the gymnasium floor, kick, walk, kick, walk, until the aged walnut tree couldn't take it and split with the force exerted. When he realized this Juunanagou cursed the tree and its predecessors, then to cursing Gero for his insanity, then, in matchless profanities, to cursing his sister, the last thing he would have done half an hour ago. Before she came and he saw to what extent they'd separated, before he understood that it was as final as death without the dragonballs ready to wish you back.  
In retrospect, he had lost prior to even beginning, a pawn in chess, a sacrificial piece that, after the sacrifice, suddenly did not seem very important. Yet he had gone in anyway, and played the game best he could until the end, when it ultimately dawned on him that he was playing it by the rules to a different one, perhaps the game barely avoided when the time traveler came, like Lafayette, in hopes of changing the world. Yes, he had lost it all with less gracefulness than a bullfrog, humanity stolen by a so-called man of science, half-life absorbed by a monster, then left by his twin to stand alone.  
He saw a flash of light beside one half of the fallen black walnut tree. His ax, still where he had left it, metallic edge gleaming in the remnants of a midsummer sun. 'Still there,' he thought, and the trademark bitter smirk returned to his lips as he took it and returned to the cabin where the broken glass still lay.  
  
finis  
  
Author's Note: I have nothing to say for once, this being the final chapter, except that I really hope you liked it. I did the first part of this fic months ago on notebook paper, and when I realized how unfinished it was, rewrote it all on my computer, adding to it more chapters and a more satisfactory (but you tell me) ending. And again, thank you, reviewers. I never would have gotten through "Retrospect"without all your encouragement, and I want all of you to know that. -Acey 


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